This was spotted on the staff notice board in a large insurance company

A strapline for a business which unfortunately is no longer with us

Sent to us by a customer ( not sure if it is true)
I was at the coffee machine a few days ago, when a very short colleague came up behind me in the queue. I didn’t realise he was there and when I turned around, I crashed into him and my coffee went all down the front of his shirt.
“ I am not happy “ he said, to which I stupidly replied “Well, which one are you then”

Part of an advertisement for a foreign holiday villa rental who obviously had a problem with translation

Taking the mickey
An office furniture colleague of mine was standing in front of the urninal when his suit jacket flap fell in front of him, and he ended up relieving himself on the lining of his suit.
He then took the soiled item of clothing into the local dry cleaners and actually asked if they could take the P— out of his jacket (This is a true story)

The dinosaurs are still around
An old and chauvinistic boss of mine was doing the rounds one afternoon and came into our little office of 3 men and one woman. He went up to each man in turn to ask what business he was working on and discussed various aspects of the business with each person, at reasonable length.
He then turned to the female in the group and said “Have you bought anything nice today dear”
(This is also a true story)

Typing cover
A colleague use to work in an IT department of a large company in the days when typing pools were around. One of the largest suppliers of Electronic Typewriters in those days was Wang. At the time they were introducing a cover plan for all of their products and services. Same day response, 24 hour hot-line, immediate replacement of faulty item. All sounded very good until you saw that they had suggested calling this cover “WANG-CARE”

Listen to me
10 years ago, when company cars were a “must have” for every executive in London, a colleague was have great trouble getting his new car authorised. He always found the best deal and loaded the car with extras until he reached his financial limit. But the fleet manager had refused his request for a tow-bar. My colleague had taken exception to this and went to see the Department Director, who really had more important things to sort out. Humouring my colleague , the Department Director called the fleet manager, as the tow-bar less employee was very agitated, and had only recently joined the company.
Very quickly the Director worked out that the fleet manager had thought he had said “turbo”.